Learning to Fly
Part 3 of A Colourful Awakening - Nature Embodied Fantasy Story
You’re invited to Read or Listen with your body:
Eventually I felt that it was time. I turned my head and gasped! Bright red, orange and purple wings sparkled in the sunlight behind me. Fully extended they reached at least 6 feet on either side of me. They were already catching the light breeze and I had to steady myself, feeling a slight pull upwards. Thank the lords the winds weren’t too strong or I might have taken off in complete panic, sailing far away before I had any idea how to land again.
Tentatively I tried to flap them.
Complete fail! One went up a little. The other tipped to the side and I nearly toppled over from the weight and pressure of them. This was going to take some practice…
I tried again. This time it kinda worked and I was suddenly in the air! For … a nanosecond before I panicked and fell forward, nearly landing on my face! Whoops!
I stood up again, took a deep breath and tried again. Each time was a little lesson or improvement. After a couple of hours and what felt like 1000 new bruises I was starting to get it. I cast my sight out and spotted a massive oak tree about 100 metres away. I set my sights on it, took a deep breath, and slowly took off, beating my wings once, twice, three times, and then feeling the breeze below them as I let go a little and smiled in amazement as I managed to glide a little way. When I neared the big tree I flapped my wings to rise up a little and tried to lean forward for the landing.
Mistake! In that instant I realised I had no idea how to pull my wings back in and facing forward began plummeting. My legs reached out for the branch I’d wanted to land on and jarringly managed to make contact. But my wings bashed into other branches and I almost toppled right off the branch before I found a handhold. I gripped for dear life and willed my wings to curl back in.
Nothing happened. They hurt a little and I wondered if I’d damaged them? But when I turned I saw only some small signs of ruffled feathers or small cuts. The bruises were no doubt hidden beneath the bright plumage.
I twisted and reached out to touch one wing. It was impossibly soft as I smoothed my hand along it. It felt good. Sensitive and sensual, and seeming to appreciate my touch. It was so strange to see ‘a part of my body’ -at least seemingly- respond almost like a separate living, breathing entity. For a moment I wondered if other parts of my body might respond the same if I touched them with the wonder and reverence my hands were now expressing… Perhaps? I made a mental note to try sometime.
After smoothing and caressing both wings, still holding onto the tree for steadiness, I asked the wings how to retract them. Just breathe us back in -came the response.
I closed my eyes, focussing on my upper spine, and breathed in deeply. I imagined these beautiful wings finding their way into my back and integrating in their own little nest there.
Slowly slowly, bit by bit, I felt them retract. But they didn’t re-enter my back as I thought they would. They simply bunched together behind my back, like a bird’s wings would. In my head I heard the words You still need to practice with us. Take a breath and let's go again.
I had to smile to myself. I seemed to not only have wings, but also a free spirit born within them that was going to teach me how to be free. Teach me both the discipline and determination, as well as the trust to let go and soar… SOOO Cool!!
After a few more moments of rest, and letting myself absorb the experience of perching on a tree in this magical forest, I began to prepare myself. I scanned the forest for a route, trying to figure out how I might go higher and break through the crowns of the trees.
Eventually my eyes fell on a gap that felt right and I let them settle there. Turning my body towards it, and swallowing hard to settle my nerves at the prospect of jumping off my safe branch, I bunched my legs. Saying a quick prayer and telling my wings I was counting on them, I launched off, eyes squeezed tight.
To my HORROR I felt myself falling and forced my eyes open. My senses on high alert, I realised that for that moment that fear had led me to completely surrender consciousness. I breathed deeply, still falling, though it felt like it was a bit slower. I felt my muscles engaging and my wings extending. I felt the air beneath me push against them, and an updraught caught them. I was suddenly hovering, almost entirely still in mid air. The balance was so insanely perfect that I barely dared to breathe. I was absolutely floored. How was I doing this? And how could staying still feel so utterly amazing?! Earth Shattering!
After a few moments of this, I managed to take a deep breath and take stock of what I could perceive. My wings were gently flapping minutely up and down. My body was straight and almost perfectly horizontal. I was surprised to notice that I felt no aches. No strain at all at holding this plank like position. I was just about the most relaxed I’d ever been. My body was being perfectly held and supported by the air beneath me - like lying on a soft white cloud. I felt overwhelmed in wonder. Then a bit emotional. A tear escaped as I realised how much I’d missed this feeling of support. My usual under-skin anxious tension completely gone. I wanted to be here forever, and a sense of bliss washed through me as I took in everything around me. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I saw butterfly wings flap intricately. Beetles mozying along the forest floor. The leaves twist to and fro in the breeze. A fly land and bounce once on a flower, before crawling into it. The colours and sensations were magnificent.
Gradually, without me actively commanding them, my wings began to flap and I rose steadily upwards. My vision flowed towards the gap in the crown of the forest and I effortlessly moved towards it. It was as though all I had to do was feel/ think something and it happened. I felt so zen. Powerful and deeply peaceful all at once.
As I exited the tops of the trees the horizon opened out all around me. I continued to gradually climb into the air, feeling the air seem to thin out as I rose away from the trees. I turned slow, lazy circles, lightly playing with my wings, while taking in the expanse of my surroundings. The forest I’d been in stretched for miles in all directions. Beyond it I saw fields spotted with flowers in all colours imaginable. I heard a waterfall off to my right, but couldn’t see it. And on the far horizon I saw the sea.
There were no signs of human inhabitation. It was all nature as far as the eye could see. It felt so raw and primal.
A dull ache started in my belly. At first I thought it was sadness for all the destruction us humans have caused in my own world. Yet something told me that wasn’t all of it.
As I slowly banked and soared, exploring further, my long distance vision getting sharper, I realised I was looking for other people. Curious whether I was the only one of us here… or whether there were people living here in communion with nature. Hidden like most of her animals.
Part 4:
After a while I saw a tall slender woman step out of the forest into a small glade. The sun reflected off her golden hair, making it shine like a halo around her. Her bronzed skin and lithe movements captured my imagination. She was exactly what I thought of when I thought about ancient people living in and with nature. Her strength naturally flowed through her movements.
She hesitated, as if feeling my eyes on her, and slowly turned and gazed up at me. Without thinking I had descended towards her and was hovering just above the tree line. Maybe 30m separated us.
I stared, mesmerised at her. And she did the same. There was feeling of recognition between us. As if we’d known each other from a previous life.
She started to laugh lightly and my forehead furrowed because suddenly I heard her voice in my head…
»Thank you for reading part 4, I hope you enjoyed it. I’m curious whether you felt your own journey learning to use your wings? Whether you’re imaging real wings, or just feeling the symbolism of reaching your own natural potential, I love the play off between learning to make conscious choices and have discipline, while also fostering deep trust and belief, and letting things be ease-full. I love that nature reminded me that this takes practice, falling and getting up again. Can you see this mirrored in your life? Feel your own process in your body? And are you intrigued to try touching your body with the reverance and love you might touch your wings with? Bonus points if you pick a part that you find hard to love and accept. 😉
It strikes me that our capacity to feel safe, secure and trusting enough to make conscious choices and to feel worthy and have faith are born out of our roots. It seems counter intuitive that we can only fly when we’re grounded in our body, but it’s true. Our root chakra is our energetic key to these feelings. So, to help you go a little deeper, I offer this free 15min bedtime visualisation to try out as a bonus. It will have you feeling blissfully connected and supported by nature in no time, and sleeping peacefully too!
The story continues with Part 5: A Primal Origin Story, where we will be diving deeper into the wisdom held in our roots via our ancestors.
If you’re enjoying these stories and would like me to publish more, please click below to pledge your support, and share this with anyone you know who you think might enjoy them. I would love to offer the stories via a paid subscription (with pay what you can option), which will mean I can keep it up and also supports me in this start up phase on our permaculture farm. Plus it will come with beautiful bonuses and a wonderful tribe of embodied new Earth creators! Thank you beloveds, for all your support 💞
PS. Just for clarity, following release of this story, I intend to scale down the emails on my free blog to more like a newsletter, and paid subscribers will get separate emails with the stories and bonuses.